Rizz – a slang word for “charisma”, and 2023’s Oxford Dictionary ‘Word of the Year’ – is a strange and elusive beast. On the one hand, it’s an indefinable quality that shouldn’t be unpacked too deeply (in the same way that explaining a meme makes it unfunny for some reason). On the other, it’s an easy trait to recognise when you see it. Rizz is just that thing, that look in your eye, whatever it is that makes your clothes sit right and your jokes land – it’s like the more approachable cousin to “cool”. Think: Natasha Lyonne. Zendaya and Tom Holland. Sophie Turner. Harry Styles.
The great thing about rizz is that it has nothing to do with conventional attractiveness or monetary success (Taylor Swift is both good looking and wildly successful, yet arguably possesses no rizz). Neither does it have anything to do with smarts (Travis Kelce, I think, shows signs of rizz). Which in theory means that anybody can have rizz. That said, I do think that some people are more prone than others: maybe they are born with a rizz gene, or develop it in their formative years, like an attachment style (which can be frustrating for those who are naturally deeply rizzless, like Elon Musk, who has bought everything, yet cannot buy rizz).
Still, there are certainly ways to elevate your rizz. Bobby, 25, has been told many times that he has rizz. He gets on with everyone, and has “little-to-no shame”, which has helped him out in settings where he doesn’t know anyone. He thinks the secret is not trying too hard to be anyone else; to only be you. “My rizz has grown exponentially as I’ve grown into myself,” he says. “Say whatever’s in your head, don’t sweat the small stuff and do what makes you feel good. Wear clothes that make you feel hot when you go out, look people in the eyes when you’re talking to them, listen (and I mean really listen) and match their gaze. Brazenly compliment people. If you think of a smooth segue or line to use – do it.”
One friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, says a similar thing. She’s been told a few times that she is in possession of rizz (which I can attest to; she can always land a joke, will be the first on karaoke and has impeccable nails, among other qualities). “Rizz has definitely helped me out in situations where I haven’t necessarily known what I’m doing,” she says. “I’m good at talking and I’m quite funny, so often in a situation where things are awkward – like a date where you don’t fancy each other – I’m generally good at having a good time regardless and finding some common ground to talk about… I’m good at reading a situation and behaving accordingly, and I do think that’s a big part of it.”
“My advice to people who want to have rizz is, to a degree, it’s about being kind of delusional,” she adds. “It’s a confidence thing, and it’s also about believing in your own sauce. Even on days when I don’t believe in my sauce whatsoever, because I’m practised in the art of rizz, I can dredge it up from somewhere and usually you can rizz yourself into feeling like you’ve got more rizz. You don’t have to be hot to have rizz – often hot people don’t have rizz because they’ve never had to try to have it, or make an effort to be anything but hot. But people who have rizz believe in their own nonsense, basically. Once you learn that a few times, things open up to you in a way they didn’t before. It’s about taking those first few steps.”
Reisha, 29, agrees that rizz is adjacent to confidence. “I developed rizz from a very age,” she tells me. “I was quite a confident child, who always more than happy to play alone and loved being the star of school plays. My rizz has definitely helped me in a lot of situations – when I’m anxious, I’m great at masking and giving off that I’m ready to take on anything… if I was to give any advice to those who are rizzless, I’d say ‘put on an outfit that you’re comfortable with, and your energy will match your attire.’”