Hiya, families! March 2025 is shaping up to be a corker for London theatre, and Time Out’s handed us a smashing list of ten new openings to get excited about. We’re talking Cate Blanchett, Totoro, and a Titanic full of Celine Dion tunes—all live on stage, no streaming required. I’ve had a good nosey at the lineup (cheers, Time Out!), and I’m here to figure out which ones are fab for your young crew—little ‘uns, tweens, teens, and you lot wrangling them. With dates, venues, ticket prices, and even a cheeky lottery or two, let’s dive in and answer—should you watch these plays or not? Here’s the lot!
1. The Seagull (Barbican Centre, 6 March – 5 April)
What’s It About?
Chekhov’s The Seagull gets a proper glow-up with Cate Blanchett as Arkadina, the actress past her prime, and Tom Burke as her lover Trigorin. Directed by Thomas Ostermeier, it’s a German-English mash-up of love, art, and family spats—think moody vibes and big feelings.
The Vibe
The Barbican Centre’s a sleek, Brutalist beast—think concrete cool and a plush theatre vibe. Cate’s star power lights up a minimalist stage—2.5 hours with a break, so you’ve got time for a loo dash.
Family Fit
Little kids (under 8)? Nah—they’ll fidget through the long chats about life’s woes. Tweens (9-12)? Maybe if they know Cate from Thor—my imaginary 10-year-old nephew recognised her but yawned at the slow bits. Teens (13+)? Spot on if they’re into drama or GCSE English—Cate and Tom are a treat. Parents? You’ll be chuffed—proper A-list night out. No rude stuff, just heavy emotions.
Practical Bits
- Where: Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS—Barbican Tube’s your mate.
- When: 6th March to 5th April—plenty of chances to catch it.
- Tickets: From £25, but here’s the kicker—give the £35 ticket lottery a whirl online for a bargain. Previews from £15 if you’re quick!
Should You Watch?
Yes—if your teens are arty and you fancy Cate’s magic. No for little ‘uns or if you want laughs over tears.
2. My Neighbour Totoro (Gillian Lynne Theatre, 8 March – 20 July)
What’s It About?
Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbour Totoro leaps from screen to stage—two sisters meet Totoro, a massive fluffy forest spirit, in ‘50s Japan. The RSC and Joe Hisaishi bring puppets, songs, and pure whimsy.
The Vibe
The Gillian Lynne’s a cosy gem—think giant Totoro puppets, a bouncy Catbus, and a stage like a forest wonderland. It’s 2 hours 40 with a break—proper family fun.
Family Fit
Little ‘uns (3-8)? Yes—they’ll be gawping at Totoro and giggling at the soot sprites. Tweens (9-12)? Ace—my made-up 11-year-old niece wants one as a pet. Teens? They’ll love the nostalgia, even if they play it cool. Parents? You’ll be grinning like kids—heartwarming stuff. Clean and cuddly for all.
Practical Bits
- Where: Gillian Lynne Theatre, 166 Drury Lane, WC2B 5PW—Holborn or Covent Garden Tube.
- When: 8th March to 20th July—long run, but it’ll pack out fast.
- Tickets: £25-£95—pricey at the top, but cheaper seats exist if you book early.
Should You Watch?
Yes—a family must-see. Book now—it’s a winner for all ages!
3. The Lehman Trilogy (Piccadilly Theatre, 13 March – 31 May)
What’s It About?
Three brothers build a banking dynasty from 1840s America to the 2008 crash—Sam Mendes directs John Heffernan, Aaron Krohn, and Howard W Overshown juggling every role under the sun.
The Vibe
Piccadilly’s all old-school glamour—think spinning glass sets and three blokes pulling off a marathon. It’s 3 hours 20 with a break—epic stuff.
Family Fit
Under-10s? Nope—too long and talky. Tweens? If they’re clever—my fake 12-year-old cousin liked the acting but drifted on the money chat. Teens? GCSE history fans’ll love it—big stakes, big crash. Parents? You’ll rave about the craft. No naughtiness, just brain food.
Practical Bits
- Where: Piccadilly Theatre, 16 Denman Street, W1D 7DY—Piccadilly Circus Tube.
- When: 13th March to 31st May—nice long stint.
- Tickets: £20-£85—previews from £15, so snap ‘em up early!
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and adults who like a deep dive. No for little kids or short attention spans.
4. Giant (Royal Court, 20 March – 31 May)
What’s It About?
Roald Dahl’s not so lovely in Mark Rosenblatt’s play—John Lithgow plays him facing flak for antisemitic rants in the ‘80s. It’s funny, dark, and thorny.
The Vibe
Royal Court’s raw and real—small stage, big tension. Think Dahl’s charm crashing into his flaws—2 hours with a break.
Family Fit
Little ‘uns? No—too tricky, too grown-up. Tweens? Doubt it—my imagined 11-year-old Dahl fan was baffled by the mess. Teens? Yes if they’re sharp—Lithgow’s a pull, and it’s a chat-starter. Parents? You’ll love the meaty drama—not cosy, though. Mild swearing, heavy themes.
Practical Bits
- Where: Royal Court, Sloane Square, SW1W 8AS—Sloane Square Tube.
- When: 20th March to 31st May—decent run.
- Tickets: £12-£49—cheaper for under-26s or previews.
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and adults who like a squirm. No for young kids or Dahl diehards.
5. The Duchess (Trafalgar Theatre, 25 March – 26 April)
What’s It About?
Jodie Whittaker’s a modern Duchess of Malfi in Zinnie Harris’s take on Webster’s tragedy—revenge, betrayal, and a fierce woman fighting back.
The Vibe
Trafalgar’s snug—dark lights, bloody stakes. It’s 2.5 hours with a break—full-on drama.
Family Fit
Under-10s? No—violence and gloom’ll spook ‘em. Tweens? Maybe if they’re tough—my fake 12-year-old liked Jodie from Doctor Who but flinched at the grim bits. Teens? Ace—gritty and gripping. Parents? Jodie’s fire is unmissable. Bit of gore, no kid stuff.
Practical Bits
- Where: Trafalgar Theatre, 14 Whitehall, SW1A 2DY—Charing Cross Tube.
- When: 25th March to 26th April—short and sweet run.
- Tickets: £25-£75—previews from £20 if you’re sharp.
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and adults who love a thriller. No for little ‘uns or the squeamish.
6. Titanique (Criterion Theatre, from 10 March)
What’s It About?
A daft Titanic musical with Celine Dion hits—think “My Heart Will Go On” meets drag queens and silly gags about Jack and Rose.
The Vibe
Criterion’s glitzy—sequins, big songs, and a sinking ship of laughs. It’s 2 hours with a break—pure fun.
Family Fit
Little kids? Maybe—tunes’ll hook ‘em, but innuendo might whizz by. Tweens? Yes—my made-up 10-year-old nephew cackled at the daftness. Teens? They’ll love the camp—proper TikTok vibes. Parents? Celine fans’ll adore it. Bit cheeky, nothing rude.
Practical Bits
- Where: Criterion Theatre, Piccadilly Circus, W1J 9HT—Piccadilly Circus Tube.
- When: From 10th March—open-ended run, so no rush (yet!).
- Tickets: £25-£65—decent range, book early for deals.
Should You Watch?
Yes—a family laugh if you’re up for silliness. No if you want serious drama.
7. Player Kings (Noël Coward Theatre, until 22 March)
What’s It About?
Ian McKellen’s Falstaff in Shakespeare’s Henry IV Parts 1 & 2—boozy, bawdy brilliance directed by Robert Icke. A 2024 hit wrapping up this month.
The Vibe
Noël Coward’s plush—taverns, battles, and Sir Ian owning it. It’s 3 hours with a break—Shakespearean heft.
Family Fit
Under-8s? No—too wordy, too long. Tweens? If they like knights—my fake 11-year-old liked the sword bits but zoned out on speeches. Teens? Yes—McKellen’s a legend, school-friendly. Parents? You’ll worship Sir Ian. Mild bawdiness, no shockers.
Practical Bits
- Where: Noël Coward Theatre, St Martin’s Lane, WC2N 4AU—Leicester Square Tube.
- When: Until 22nd March—last chance soon!
- Tickets: £25-£95—pricey, but it’s McKellen—worth it.
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and Shakespeare fans. No for little kids or short fuses.
8. The Mother (National Theatre, from 18 March)
What’s It About?
Gina McKee as a mum losing it after her son leaves—Florian Zeller’s play about loneliness, post-The Father.
The Vibe
National’s Lyttelton stage—sparse, eerie, emotional. It’s 90 minutes, no break—tight and tense.
Family Fit
Little kids? No—too sad, too subtle. Tweens? Doubt it—my imagined 12-year-old found it “weird and boring.” Teens? Maybe—emotional depth could click if they’re deep. Parents? You’ll feel it—gut-punch territory. No naughtiness, just heavy vibes.
Practical Bits
- Where: National Theatre, South Bank, SE1 9PX—Waterloo Tube.
- When: From 18th March—open-ended start, likely into April.
- Tickets: £20-£66—Friday Rush for £20 if you’re lucky!
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and adults who like a cry. No for young ‘uns or light nights.
9. Home, I’m Darling (Duke of York’s Theatre, from 25 March)
What’s It About?
Katherine Parkinson as a ‘50s housewife in a modern world—Laura Wade’s comedy on gender roles and retro dreams.
The Vibe
Duke of York’s is cosy—pastel sets, sharp laughs. It’s 2 hours with a break—funny and smart.
Family Fit
Little ‘uns? Maybe—bright colours, but satire’ll miss ‘em. Tweens? Yes—my fake 10-year-old loved Katherine from Taskmaster. Teens? Ace—quirky and relatable. Parents? You’ll chuckle and nod—clever fun. Mild adult themes, nothing wild.
Practical Bits
- Where: Duke of York’s Theatre, St Martin’s Lane, WC2N 4BG—Leicester Square Tube.
- When: From 25th March—open-ended, likely into May.
- Tickets: £20-£75—deals for previews or under-25s.
Should You Watch?
Yes—a family win for laughs with brains. No if you want epic drama.
10. Alterations (National Theatre, until 19 April)
What’s It About?
Michael Abbensetts’s ‘70s tale of a Black tailor chasing dreams—bittersweet and bold on the Lyttelton stage.
The Vibe
National’s big space—retro vibes, heartfelt rows. It’s 2 hours with a break—warm but punchy.
Family Fit
Under-8s? Tricky—talky and slow for ‘em. Tweens? Maybe—my made-up 11-year-old liked the family bits but drifted. Teens? Yes—real stories, real heart. Parents? You’ll love the soul—hidden gem. No rude bits, just life lessons.
Practical Bits
- Where: National Theatre, South Bank, SE1 9PX—Waterloo Tube.
- When: Until 19th April—solid run from late Feb.
- Tickets: £20-£66—Friday Rush at £20 if you’re quick!
Should You Watch?
Yes—for teens and adults who want heart. No for tiny tots or action fans.
Should You Watch These Plays or Not?
Here’s the family rundown:
- The Seagull: Yes for teens/adults, no for little ‘uns—Cate’s a draw, lottery’s a steal.
- My Neighbour Totoro: Yes for all—family gold, worth every penny!
- The Lehman Trilogy: Yes for teens/adults, no for kids—epic but talky.
- Giant: Yes for teens/adults, no for young ‘uns—Dahl with edge.
- The Duchess: Yes for teens/adults, no for tots—Jodie’s fierce.
- Titanique: Yes for most—camp fun for all ages!
- Player Kings: Yes for teens/adults, no for little kids—McKellen’s a must.
- The Mother: Yes for teens/adults, no for young ‘uns—deep and dark.
- Home, I’m Darling: Yes for tweens up—fab laughs!
- Alterations: Yes for teens/adults, no for tiny tots—soulful stuff.
March 2025’s a theatre bonanza—Totoro’s your all-ages ace, Titanique and Home, I’m Darling bring the giggles, and the rest shine for older kids and you lot. Check dates, snag deals (lottery for Seagull, Rush for National shows!), and enjoy a cracking London night out!
