The great debate continues
After being inspired to dive into the North-South London divide by Phin Harper’s ‘Fuck North London (seriously, what is it with North Londoners?)’ Turncoats event, we’re ramping up things up ahead of the talk (happening on 5th March in South London, naturally). We asked Phin and speakers Smith and Hidigo to give us a little preview by stating their case for each side of the river.
North London, by Phin & Smith
- The Barbican. Face it. North London was first. The first permanent city in the region we now call Greater London was Roman Londinium. Impressive ruins can be seen including in the basement of an office building on Billingsgate or in plain view behind St Giles Church in the Barbican. The Barbican itself, perhaps the most ambitious public housing project in the country, is directly inspired by those Roman ruins. South London has nothing with the scale or history to compete.
- North London’s *many* museums are too often full of colonial loot and arguably something to apologise for rather than celebrate, but we can unequivocally endorse North London’s anti-fascist heritage with a trip to the Cable Street Mural in Tower Hamlets marking where, in 1936, demonstrators successfully blocked a planned march by Oswald Mosley’s British Union of Fascists.
- Marches. Demonstrations can happen anywhere but North London undoubtedly has hosted some of the great public protests in British history. London’s Pride, inspired by the Stonewall uprising, the enormous march against the Iraq War in 2003, and the many peace demonstrations standing in solidarity with Gaza to name just a handful.
- Wooden architecture. Storing up almost 4000 tonnes of carbon dioxide, Dalston Works was the largest cross-laminated timber building in the world when it was built. Take that, high carbon bricky South London streets.
- Probably the laziest criticism levelled at South London is that it has fewer tube stations. But it’s true. North London has extraordinary underground transport infrastructure: the oldest in the world with the Metropolitan Line opening in 1863 using gas-lit wooden carriages.
- St JOHN. Who needs chips with your Guinness when you can have kidneys on toast and bone marrow?
- One for the nerds. In summer the Tube is made terrible by heat as every year the clay around the Central Line gets hotter and hotter from all the trains braking beneath our feet. But an ingenious idea to shift heat from the stifling underground to the homes and buildings that can use it is a first-of-its-kind scheme that pumps heat up from the Tube to homes, a school, and two leisure centres with 1.5km of pipework. Neat!
- Logos. Remember the London Borough Logo World Cup? No, well staged by Phineas Harper when they were CEO of charity Open City, the massive online poll asked Londoners to vote for the best borough logos in an epic knockout league. The abysmal logos of South London’s Southwark, Lambeth and the like were rightly relegated and the winner of the best logo was the North London borough of Camden. The logo comprising four hand-shake like emblems sends a message of good sportsmanship, worthy of a winner.
- Canals. South London once boasted a canal network easily as grand and extensive as the north. The morons filled it all in. Now only traces of the Surrey Quays canal remain while the north’s Regent’s Canal, Limehouse Cut and River Lea Navigation provide nature corridors, recreation space, pedestrian routes and floating homes for London’s ever-growing community of boaters.
- Pelican House. A newish centre of political thought, action and, most importantly, big parties.
South London, by Phin & Hidigo
- Trams! London once bristled with trams and trolley buses but the idiotic march of progress and its mania for car-centric urbanism has all but banished them from our streets….except in South London. Red Ken pushed for a tram renaissance proposing routes from Uxbridge to Shepherd’s Bush and Camden to Brixton — both abandoned due to political opposition from North London councils. He succeeded in South London, however, and today tram-going Londoners can travel in style from Croydon to Wimbledon.
- Deserted Cactus restaurant on Rye Lane. Best vegan food. Impeccable taste, impeccable portions, impeccable vibes!
- Crystal Palace Dinosaurs. Does the north side of the river have massive hollow dinosaurs? No it does not. Apparently they held fundraising dinners raising cash to complete the project within the belly of the dinosaurs themselves.
- Maida Restaurant in Streatham. Peng Somali food. Tell Fatima it’s halal!
- Back in 2004 some people tried to make some actually sustainable housing. The media establishment responded with all the even-handed thoughtful balance of Jeremy Clarkson high on the fumes of agricultural petrol, desperately lampooning and smearing the remarkably successful BedZED development to ensure that never again would any architect attempt something sensible. It worked. Architecture has gone backwards since, but at least BedZED is still there with its vibrant, diverse community quietly proving year-on-year its haters wrong.
- Nine Elms Market, the last bastion of OG Battersea pre-Power Station development/gentrification.
- Blackheath Kite Day. Ok Blackheath kinda sucks. A big flat grassy bit with a long view of Canary Wharf carved up by some always-congested roads. Most days it feels like the world’s largest traffic island. But it is also the best place in London to fly a kite, that sprawling openness catching gusts like no other park. Every year there is a Kite Day in early autumn when the sky is darkened by every shape and size of kite imaginable accompanied by the sound of a steel pan band and the shrieks of giddy children.
- Covent Garden Flower Market (in Nine Elms). Believe the hype on TikTok. Beautiful flowers, great atmosphere. Feels like you’re on The Apprentice.
- Ruskin Park, embracing the reputation that South is so green. So many great parks to choose from but if you want to escape the runners (why are you running?) then this place is a safe haven. Lush, green and the perfect city escape.
- Old Kent Road. South London’s answer to Green Lanes with more Ecuadorian fish stew.
