How To Have Sex is a wonderful film, but a potential minefield for anyone who wants to see it. “What do you fancy doing for our second date, darling? Shall we see How To Have Sex?” “Good evening madam, are you showing How To Have Sex tonight, and if so may I have a Tango Ice Blast to take in?” “Mavis, I’ve just been reading in the Daily about How To Have Sex, and I think we should try it at 3.15pm this Thursday in the main auditorium at the British Film Institute.” And so on, and so on. This might end up being the first film to get its own audience cancelled.
It is, of course, a terrifically eye-catching title for a debut feature – but its young British writer and director Molly Manning Walker has more than enough talent to underwrite the mischief. In her debut feature, 29-year-old Manning Walker follows three schoolgirls on a drunken holiday to Malia in Crete, as the 16-year-olds burn off steam after ploughing through their GCSEs. Skye (Lara Peake) is the tall, confident, sexually precocious one, while Em (Enva Lewis) is the academic genius – and also a lesbian, which means the trio’s entanglements with various lunkish male peers are happily none of her concern.
But what about Tara (Mia McKenna-Bruce)? She’s still not sure what one she’s meant to be, though clearly hopes the trip will help her puzzle it out. Primarily she’s determined to use it to lose her virginity, which has become a social millstone – not just for Tara, but also Skye, who treats it like an unwanted fourth member of the group. Still, as the plane lands, and they hare to the beach, things couldn’t seem rosier.
“I f___ing love you guys!” They shriek as they frolic in the waves. “Best holiday ever!” Uh oh.
The girls dance, neck shots, perform karaoke, guzzle blue stuff from a fishbowl, then round the evening off with chips, grated cheese, tearful bonding and dry heaving under a bridge. Manning Walker’s wily command of tone and glistening sweat and DayGlo visuals do make you pine to be young again for the first half hour or so of this.