But let’s add an opposing Claus – maybe Christmas is sexy after all? There is, perhaps, something amorous in the glamour of the party season: slick tuxes, capacious overcoats, lots of silk. And in terms of the festival itself, too. From Eartha Kitt’s exceptionally suggestive “Santa Baby”, released 70 years ago, to Ariana Grande’s equally risque “Santa Tell Me (Dirty Version)”, officially released just over a week ago, festive tunes have long toyed with the season’s sexual undertones.
And, for a niche few, Christmas is especially exciting. According to the internet, ‘Santaphilia’ is an actual thing, stretching the daddy image of the bearded present into an actual kink. “He’s on the older side, has a great beard, and he has a lot of power, too,” sex psychologist Justin Lehmiller writes on his blog. “When you think about it that way, Santa is a character tailor-made for role playing in BDSM scenes.” A quick Google can unearth all sorts of… gear.
“I’ve done loads of Christmas porn, it’s definitely a thing. But it’s probably more funny than sexy,” More, Diesel’s campaign model, says. She references a viral clip of some very festive, very X-rated content and the sex advent calendar she releases each year on her OnlyFans.
This transition has been in the works for a while now. Check out the Sexy Grinch which exploded onto the scene in 2018, seeing a BBL version of the most Dr Seuss export become a popular festive meme. We’re also less prudish these days it seems. “As far as the zeitgeist is concerned, I think we’ve reached a phase where sexiness no longer has the baggage it once had,” Bettridge says. “Stars of all genders have their own platforms, so their sexuality is able to be a performance of self rather than a performance for someone else.” Fashion, too, has never generally been so sexy, from the BDSM looks on Autumn/Winter ‘22 runways, to JW Anderson penis keyrings to sex toy jewellery from Gucci and actual sex toys from Dsquared2 and, of course, Diesel. Oh, and you can also countdown to Christmas with a sex toy advent calendar.
While researchers studying Christmas sex have often butted heads with some suggesting a drought and others a deluge, a recent survey from Thortful suggests that over half of all age groups enjoy more sex over Christmas than any other time of the year. And while some of us still might not be convinced, More concurs: “Who’s not having sex at Xmas? When I was a working gal I was fully booked and I needed Jan off to recover. I was that busy,” she says.
Perhaps fashion’s dirtying of Christmas is making the festive season less vanilla, turning the classic, tragic office party fling into something more Kit Kat Club than Kings Cross pub. The hardcore imagery, the barely-there fashion, the Diesel Christmas jockstrap: fashion is just giving the people what they want. Let’s hope it’s a hard-and-fast tradition.