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We review Grumbles, a London restaurant that’s more like an institution
The capital is overrun with restaurants that look the same. They have emerald green and pink coloured furniture and there is probably a palm tree in the corner. Horrifically, some of these plants are plastic. Stats show that half of these restaurants close within two years of opening.
Nevertheless, foodies (I can’t stand that word but that’s who they are) run around headlessly attending the opening parties for these new places, often ego projects helmed by men called Monty or Sebby, despite their closure feeling as inevitable as a Simmons on a street corner. All of these things are the opposite of Grumbles. Grumbles, which turns 60 this year, stands in proud opposition to the new openings circuit.
Its owner Jeremy Friend, now in his 90s, lives down the road and comes in multiple times per week. Opened in the mid-sixties, Friend bestowed upon the place the reputation of “the first restaurant in London with a silly name.”
A London restaurant that understands the need to be fun
Not to bang on about modern restaurants, but there isn’t much that is silly about dining in the capital in 2024. Everything is sustainability-focused, or seasonally focused, or focused in some other way at taking itself terribly seriously. But dining is not terribly serious. It is supposed to be fun. Eating is one of the only times in a day where we’re guaranteed to experience pleasure, and because eating is essential, that pleasure feels nicely justified.
This is why I like Grumbles. Grumbles gets this: it doesn’t think its wine bottles need to be stored at the bottom of an ocean to gather barnacles to be interesting, nor does it bore you to tears with messages about ethical sourcing (shouldn’t this be assumed by now?).It just serves good food in the kind of cosy environment you want to go back to. And they certainly aren’t interested in pandering to the current zeitgeist in the kitchen or on their website. Hilariously outdated material describes “glamorous waitresses, good times and amazing food,” which feels like how Sean Connery liked his restaurants pitched to him, but I love Grumbles for how much they don’t try to change with the times.
Alex Turnbull, proprietor since 2011, is my glamorous waitress for the night. He knows how special the place is. I suspect that’s why he’s stuck around for so long. He tells me which was Princess Diana’s favourite table, one of many who came here for the discretion (not far from Parliament, Grumbles is also a politician’s hangout; they prefer to eat downstairs where they cannot be overheard) but I’m more interested in his story about the fillet steak.
On the menu since the day Friend threw open the doors (photos of him grimacing and pulling weird faces are on the walls) it is cooked with mustard on top and sealed with brown sugar. It is delicious. Imagine a gastronomic Big Mac. If you think that isn’t a compliment, you’re a snob. You get that sweetness, but instead of the granular burger, a generous, singular slab of fine meat. It’s not the only dish that’s been on the menu for eons: the fish pie is another classic that’s been knocking about for decades.
Starters are just as good: the sauce from the pan fried tiger prawns with garlic, chilli, olive oil and parsley is dangerously flavourful and the avocado with prawns and home- made Marie-Rose sauce a homemade triumph.
These dishes all come together on their anniversary menu, offering a very reasonable three courses and glass of wine for £44.95. The restaurant was full on the rainy Tuesday night when I visited; three sets of local families were celebrating their birthdays. They were gathered together beside the cosy cofferred wooden walls, under higgeldy-piggeldy portraits of former owners and heart-warming family photographs of staff past and present.
To Book a table go to grumblesrestaurant.co.uk or call 020 7834 0149.
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