Family is the greatest treasure.
Welcoming a child into your family is the most beautiful thing you can do, and whether it happens naturally, via IVF, surrogacy, or through fostering or adoption – it’s simply magical.
Adopting a child isn’t without its challenges, but if you open your heart and your home, the experience is one that will transform your life for the better, forever.
Adoptive parents Aaron* and Neil* had always known they wanted to have children, and as a same-sex couple, the discussion about which route they wanted to take was a topic of conversation that quickly arose between them.
Aaron said: “We have friends that have had children through various means, from surrogacy to co-parenting, fostering and adoption, so we spoke to each of them about their experiences, contacted different agencies, reflected on our own motivations and decided that adoption was the right path for us.
“We knew right away that we wanted to adopt siblings. One of us is an only child, who feels they probably would have enjoyed having a brother or sister to grow up with. The other grew up with siblings and remembers that experience fondly.
“The concept of adopting more than one child may be daunting, but we really feel that reflecting on your own experiences of growing up, whether as an only child or sibling, and what kind of experience you would like your own children to have, whether similar or different, really helps to put things into perspective.
“We felt that, given the unique bond that siblings have, it could only be a positive thing for us to be able to offer a way to maintain and nurture that. The shared experience that siblings have is also unique, and we believed that the security of a sibling relationship would make their transition into a new home easier for them.”
As part of their adoption journey, Aaron and Neil worked with Adoption Counts, a local adoption agency covering the adoption services of five local authorities: Cheshire East Council, Manchester City Council, Salford City Council, Stockport Metropolitan Borough Council and Trafford Council.
The agency understands that whilst adopting a child is a transformative and exciting experience, it can be incredibly daunting at times. They work closely with families like Aaron and Neil, guiding them through the process from the moment you enquire to the day your child or children join your family, and beyond.
Adopting is a big decision, but it could be the best decision you ever make.
Neil said: “The children have been with us for 10 months, and it’s already hard to remember what life was like before them.
“There are rewarding moments on a daily basis. From big, life-changing occasions like learning to ride a bike together, to the simple joy of having a cuddle and being told ‘I love you daddy’. It has been the most wonderful, life-affirming experience.
“The process has been relatively smooth for us. The challenges have really only been around us and the children getting used to new routines, nothing major. Having siblings has added a few additional day-to-day challenges, but we probably knew that the refereeing of toy sharing would be part of the job description when we signed up!
“The most challenging moment for us was probably related to the matching process, rather than any of our actual parenting experience with the children. Although the training prepares you for it, when it comes to being presented with profiles of children that are looking for a forever family, it can be tough and it gave us an uncomfortable sense of privilege, being able to choose.
“Beyond minor challenges, there have been so many highlights to the experience. Every time you see the children experience something new for the first time, it’s a total pleasure. We have crammed so many wonderful memories into a relatively short space of time.
“Our very first meeting was special. It feels like there’s a lot of weight on that moment, which was relieved almost instantly when we met the children. It had been snowing that day, and within minutes, we were having snowball fights in the park. It will be etched in our memories forever. When the final adoption order went through and we went for a celebration hearing at the court, it felt like a pivotal moment, as it really cemented the permeance of our family.”
Like other adoptive parents who go through the process, Aaron and Neil were supported by various professionals at Adoption Counts throughout the course of their journey.
Adoption Counts is currently making a special appeal to those considering adoption to come forward and consider adopting siblings together. Siblings are often overlooked, and there is a common misconception that siblings tend to be older. Whilst they are older than some of the babies and toddlers awaiting adoption, they are still tiny children – typically aged between three and six years old.
Adoption Counts have received hundreds of enquiries since their launch in July 2017, but are finding it particularly challenging to find adopters who will consider opening their hearts and homes to sibling groups of two or more.
The agency welcomes mixed couples as well as single people, and it doesn’t matter if you are co-habiting, divorced or widowed, regardless of your sexual orientation. They believe it is incredibly important not to add to the trauma children have already faced by separating them. Their siblings are the only people in the world who can understand what they have been through and, as with Aaron and Nathan’s children, keeping siblings together can make the transition into a new home a less stressful and more enjoyable experience.
To find out more about Adoption Counts and the incredible support services they offer to those considering adoption, click here. Adoption Counts hold fortnightly virtual information events, which people considering adoption can attend every Wednesday at 6:30pm. To find out more, click here.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the family featured within this piece.
