Ultimatum: Queer Love at issue Xander Boger and Vanessa Papa’s relationship is at a crossroads, and it’s time for an update. Netflix series, a tour of the original Ultimatum: get married or move on, brought five couples on the brink of their relationship to turn into an experiment that allowed them to choose new partners for a trial marriage. While one partner is ready to commit, the other isn’t sure if they see a future in their current relationship. By putting couples in new relationships and then bringing them back together, Season 1 couples made some tough decisions.




Presenting the ultimatum, Xander was ready to marry his partner of four years, Vanessa, while Vanessa wasn’t sure if she was interested in marriage at all. After the breakup, Xander found himself attracted to his trial marriage partner, Yoly Rojas. They formed a genuine connection and it seemed that even though Xander arrived with Vanessa, he might be leaving Ultimatum: Queer Love With Yoly. After several intense moments between the pair, including a tense conversation where Vanessa told Xander that he would never find anyone else if they broke up, it all came down to their final choice.

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What happened to Xander and Vanessa in the ultimatum?

There were twists and turns

Second part Ultimatum: Queer Love Xander and Vanessa’s experience was Vanessa’s connection to her trial marriage to Rae Cheung-Sutton. Rae originally entered the audition with Lexi Wilson, who delivered an ultimatum. Rae and Vanessa quickly bonded, leading to their involvement in what was deemed a “fingergate” scandal.

While Xander didn’t seem too fazed by Vanessa’s contact, probably because of his own, Lexi was very upset and called Vanessa a fake and a power seeker.


Although Xander and Vanessa still loved each other at the end of the show, it was clear that Xander was in love with Yoly, leaving very little room for Vanessa. Throughout the season, Xander and Vanessa had a hard time connecting, especially when Xander and Yoly’s trial marriage left them both with feelings for each other. The night before Ultimatum Day, Xander and Vanessa seemed to be at a crossroads, though their night ended with them sleeping together.

On Ultimatum Day, Xander and Vanessa decided to end their relationship in a tearful, heartfelt goodbye that left them both sad but happy for what they had together. Vanessa became a villain Ultimatum: Queer Love season 1 despite his heartbreak. Viewers agreed with Lex’s train of thought that Vanessa was on the show for the wrong reasons.

What was revealed about Xander and Vanessa at the reunion?

Xander and Yoly talked about their relationship


When Xander and Vanessa broke up, Yoly rejected Xander, who had accepted his partner Mal Wright’s proposal earlier in the day. During the reunion, it was revealed that Vanessa and Xander hadn’t spoken since their breakup and weren’t happy with the arrangement they were currently in. Vanessa tearfully shared how much she cared for Xander and said she felt they were better friends. but that she really missed Xander’s presence in her life and wished they could be there for each other again in a non-romantic way. Xander agreed and it seemed like the pair might strike up a friendship.


Xander and Vanessa may not have had the classic happy ending, but Netflix‘s Ultimatum: Queer Love season 1 left them both with memorable experiences and a sense of clarity they had never felt before. For Xander, who was ready to get married at the start of the experiment, it was a moment of reckoning with himself that led to more self-discovery. For Vanessa, it offered an understanding that marriage could be in her future. With Ultimatum: Queer Love when both have left their new sense of self, the experiment may have worked for them.

Where are Xander and Vanessa now?

Have they moved on from each other?

Unfortunately, it looks like Xander and Vanessa aren’t on good terms at all these days, like they don’t follow each other on Instagram. In addition, Vanessa seemed to prove Lex and the viewers right in her intentions, as she has started a full-time career as a content creator and influencer. In addition, Vanessa hard posted his new mystery girlfriend in March 2024 and often shares couple-related posts with her, though he never tags his new partner.


Xander seems to be focused on himself and hasn’t shared anything about his romantic life since then Ultimatum: Queer Love reunion. He focuses on his work as a physiotherapist and maintain his chiseled physique. Xander lives in Hawaii and Vanessa lives in Los Angeles. The reality romance show may not have worked out for Xander and Vanessa the way they intended, but both seem to be content with their lives apart, even if they’re not friends.

Ultimatum: Queer Love season 1 is available to stream on Netflix.

Source: Netflix/YouTube, Vanessa Papa/Instagram

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